I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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