Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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