Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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