We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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