Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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