so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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