I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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