I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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