fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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