i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
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