I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You dont lie about slip and slides
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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