he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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