we're blogging at a bar
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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