Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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