I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize