her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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