On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize