my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
this just has baby written all over it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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