well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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