god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize