yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
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Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
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I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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