Nicole vs. Life
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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