I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize