xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize