I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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