i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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