get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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