i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize