note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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