she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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