She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize