Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize