If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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