this beer tastes like vomit already
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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