he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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