he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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