Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
3 2 1 whiskey
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize