She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
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no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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