the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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