oh god the rape fog is back!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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