dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize