Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize