so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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