chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
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FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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