He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
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The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
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Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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