Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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