garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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