Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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And then my night got REAL pukey
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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