I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
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