I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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